Free-Range Kids A Top Neighborhood Peeve [Block Talk]
May we all resolve to be better neighbors and make our neighborhoods better in 2025.
We asked readers for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, to tell us one thing they wish was different where they live. Our informal survey revealed some common themes, many of them included in a 350-word treatise from Long Beach (New York) Patch reader Honey on all the things her neighbors could do to “be more respectful” of others living nearby.
Paraphrased, don’t block driveways, do take care of dogs so they don’t poop where they shouldn’t and don’t become 24-hour-barkers, do cover the garbage to keep raccoons out, don’t stand outside yakking under a neighbor’s open window, do discipline your kids, be better and safer drivers, bicyclists, skateboarders and pedestrians, and provide a little warning of big gatherings, would you?
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That pretty much sums it up for other readers who responded to our informal survey. Many mentioned at least one of those concerns in their responses.
Control Free-Range Children
Minnesota Patch reader Tali is 100 percent behind Honey when it comes to free-range parenting — a parenting style that encourages children to be independent and function with limited supervision.
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“I wish parents actually looked after their kids. Even better I wish they would discipline their kids and make them clean up any messes they leave outside for the rest of their neighbors to deal with,” Tali said.
Here is some of what Tali and others in the vicinity are dealing with:
“The neighbor kids have thrown rocks at me and my dog, at my car, at my windows, and doors. They jumped on my drain pipe completely smashing it down so it doesn’t work properly anymore and is permanently damaged. They destroyed all the plants in front of my windows. They broke glass all over the park, grass, and roadway. I had to clean it up, so my dog wouldn’t walk on it. Even worse — the adults of the neighborhood engage in bullying behavior and so the kids follow suit and nobody is ever reprimanded. If the parents can’t do their jobs, then they shouldn’t have had kids. Period.”
“I used to live on a quiet, respectful block,” said Big T, a West Islip (New York) Patch reader. “I’m all for kids being outside, respectfully and under adult supervision. Yet my neighbors leave their children under 10 unsupervised to run around and cause havoc.”
Also, Big T said, “My property is not a ball field. Our highly competitive athletic school district has plenty of them with many teams and clubs to join. I am not here to be your ball keeper every day. Once in a blue moon, fine, but not every single day of my existence.”
As if that’s not enough, adults who don’t live in the neighborhood “sneak in … and toss their kids over the fence to come onto our property.”
“This is private and personal space,” Big T said. “The entitlement is outrageous.”
‘They Act Like They Make The Rules’
Ossining-Croton-On-Hudson (New York) Patch reader KR wants new neighbors.
The current ones “feel they should make rules about where we can park on a public street, they shout conversation to each other, other people walking or doing yard work, they call police when they don’t like something in people’s yards, driveways, etc.,” KR said. “They want to know everything about people’s private life such as whom a daughter is dating or how come someone was at home on a random Wednesday. They are loud and nosey and act like they make the rules for the street.”
If she could change one thing, West Islip Patch reader Kathy would change “the way people drive.”
“They have no regard for stop signs, red lights or right of ways. I don’t know if they’re preoccupied, have no concept of rules or just don’t’ care,” Kathy said. “Some drivers will stop, look at you then pull out and cut you off. If that’s not happening then they’re tailgating. It’s gotten to be a challenge to drive and it used to be a pleasure. Sadly it seems to be the norm not only in West Islip but everywhere.”
Woodbridge (New Jersey) Patch reader R lives on a main road that also leads to a school and street. It’s posted at 25 mph.
“However, trouble is that very few drive that speed,” R said. “Most whiz by at 35, 40 or above. Police patrol through at times and every once in a while snag a speeder, but once the squad car leaves it’s back to speeding again. … My wish for change is that drivers would slow the hell down and abide posted speed limit and make our town safer for all.”
An Aurora (Illinois) Patch reader would change the way people park — which is to say, not on the streets.
“We live in a historic district with all homes having garages or driveways,” the reader said. “Due to multiple-person adult families living in one house, up to 10 cars for one house are being parked on the street, making driving difficult and degrading the overall attractiveness of the neighborhood.”
“If you have a driveway, use it!” said Lisa, who reads Brick Patch and Point Pleasant Patch, both in New Jersey. “The streets are narrow, making navigation difficult if cars are parked on both sides (and the driveways are empty).”
“Get the crap out of the driveways behind your townhouses. … You knew you didn’t have storage space for grills, smokers, tables, chairs, multiple-bikes, etc., and since you now have to park in the street, you clog up intersections and block visibility,” said Pottstown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Lee.
Sad, a Burke (Virginia) Patch reader, lives on a cul-de-sac of townhouses with assigned parking spaces in the center.
“Parents allow their teenagers to play football and other ball games in that area with the cars.” Sad said. “Kids who do not live on the cul-de-sac bring balls. Flying balls have damaged parked cars. I wish this would end.”
‘It Doesn’t Help The Rat Problem’
Brick (New Jersey) Patch reader PJ would like for people to be better stewards of their garbage cans
“I wish people wouldn’t put their trash and recycle can out before the night prior to pickup and bring them in the evening after. We have some cans sitting out for days,” PJ said. “And weekenders, get a neighbor to handle yours rather than leaving them out for a week or more. The township can issue tickets if I call them, but don’t want to get to that.”
Faith, who reads Evanston Patch and Skokie Patch, both in Illinois, wishes people would pick up the trash that accumulates outside, particularly in the winter, and “especially food related items.”
“It doesn’t help the rat problem and pets can choke on things like bones,” Faith said. “I know it is disgusting that people litter, but if each of us picks up litter around our homes, it will keep our community looking good. Please people, stop littering, and neighbors, keep our village beautiful and safe!”
Dunedin (Florida) Patch reader Fish would like to see a change in code enforcement.
“It would be nice if Dunedin treated everyone fairly and fined or at least notified an owner about their house destroying the entire neighborhood (for five-plus years, not hurricane related or damaged). Dumpsters and trailers in the driveway. Windows boarded up. Trash everywhere. And two abandoned dogs living alone in house barking 24 hours a day and ruining the entire neighborhood!”
Put A Lid On It
“Noise is a real problem,” said Su, a West Hempstead (New York) Patch reader. “Some people don’t seem to care how much noise they make or at what hour. Parties blasting music can last five hours or more. Windows rattle and there’s no escape. Also, loud cars can be heard all day and all night on Southern State Parkway.”
Some readers would like to see change around loud fireworks.
“I wish people wouldn’t set off fireworks for every single occasion and for no reason at all,” said Deer Park (Illinois) Patch reader Mike.
“I wish fireworks were illegal,” said Peter, a Montgomeryville-Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Patch reader.
“I live in a good place,” said Across America Patch reader Joe. “I wish people would obey the fireworks laws because it feels like a combat zone during the couple of days before and after 4th of July, but over than that, people here are chill enough.”
The change Farmingdale (New York) Patch reader Jess would like to see is that “certain residents would be a little more courteous and not make so much noise outside — talking loudly, shouting, running/gunning the engines of their souped-up cars, particularly late at night; and especially that some of the neighbors would get a little courage to nicely ask the offenders to stop.”
Justin’s problem isn’t with what he hears, but what he smells. The New Hampshire Patch reader Justin wishes everyone in his neighborhood could “share the air” equally. That would require people to switch to fragrance-free laundry products out of respect for neighbors who have allergies, asthma and other health issues.
“My neighborhood reeks from the harsh chemicals (aka ‘fresh scents’) spewing out of people’s dryer vents,” Justin said. “I’m lucky if I can open my windows for more than 15 minutes before, yet more scents start up.”
When The Neighborhood Changes
Some readers yearn for fewer changes to the character of their neighborhoods, including Wisconsin Patch reader Lisa, who said there are “way too many prison-looking apartment buildings going up in close proximity, way too quickly and without resident input.”
“So, pretty much, the city’s leadership is lacking and appalling,” said Lisa, who reads Wauwatosa Patch and Milwaukee Patch.
“If I could change one thing about my neighborhood, it would be to stop the construction of ridiculously huge houses that are changing the charm and fabric of the community,” Levittown (New York) Patch reader Nana.
“I wish we had a closer, walkable supermarket from my house on the Malden-Melrose line,” said Malden (Massachusetts) Patch reader Christine. “When they tore down the Town Line Motel, I wish they had developed it into housing over an anchor business. They finished the warehouse over a year ago and it’s still empty.”
There is nothing to be done about now, but Woodstock-Towne Lake (Georgia) Patch reader wishes the developer and builder of her planned owner-occupied subdivision hadn’t sold third of the homes to investors as rental properties.
‘If You Don’t Have The Local Accent …’
East Windsor (New Jersey) Patch reader Mary wishes there was more racial diversity in her retirement community.
“I wish there were more dating opportunities for people like myself who are in the LGBT community,” said Eric, a Bellport (New York) Patch reader
Natick (Massachusetts) Patch reader Beth said she wishes Massachusetts natives “were more open to making friends with outsiders — those born in another state.”
“If you don’t have the local accent, you are immediately flagged and kept at a distance,” she said.
“I wish neighbors knew each other more,” said Fairfax City (Virginia) Patch reader Lily. “I really don’t know any of my neighbors where I live now. Where I grew up we knew and spoke to several of our neighbors and we looked out for each other.”
“Neighbors need to appreciate that everyone has challenges in life and we all should respect others’ needs for privacy and a quiet place of enjoyment,” said Brunsie, a Massachusetts Patch reader. “In times of need, even a small act of kindness can make a big difference in another person’s life. Neighbors should not call police to air their petty gripes and should refrain from storytelling and gossip and criticism of others.”
About Block Talk
Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like for us to consider, email [email protected] with “Block Talk” as the subject line.
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