Thanksgiving Food Fight: Side Dishes Our Readers Love And Love To Hate

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Those readers are among the 49 percent of respondents who want to keep green bean casserole and 47 percent who want never to speak of it again.

‘Like Eating Sour Gravel And Cool Whip’

Worse, according to the survey, are all manner of Jell-O salads, stuffing or gravy made with the entrails of the sacrificed turkey, or the cottage cheese cake that still haunts Rhode Island Patch reader Terry.

“I thought I was going to lose it. I thought maybe it had spoiled,” Terry said. “But nope, that’s how it looks. I guess it was the texture and the lumps.”

For Roanoke (Virginia) Patch reader Keith, the stomach-turning Thanksgiving memory is a cranberry relish.

“It was in a mold, with whole cranberries, different types of nuts, topped with Cool Whip,” he said. “It made a thud when it came out of the mold onto the serving plate. It wasn’t light, or tasty; it was heavy, full of every nut that must have been on the shelf in the store with layers of whole cranberries and Cool Whip, topped with more Cool Whip and nuts.”

It was “like eating a combination of sour gravel and Cool Whip and it actually felt like the nuts were scratching my throat,” Keith said, adding, “This is what happens when a sister that can’t cook announces she is going to cook for the holiday.”

Stuff Your Objections To Stuffing

Greenbelt (Maryland) Patch reader Debbie hopes to never again see deviled eggs with Spam on the Thanksgiving table, Cumberland (Rhode Island) Patch reader Dan can’t unsee the “pie that had Japanese beetles inside the raspberries,” and Salem (Massachusetts) Patch reader Nori still has a bad taste in her mouth from ex-mother-in-law’s stuffing, which she said “was like a bunch of wet bread pressed together to make a wet bread loaf.”

Nori’s former mother-in-law’s was a felony-level stuffing offense among the 95 percent majority of survey respondents who think it is as much a part of the Thanksgiving meal as the turkey. Stuffing is called “dressing” in some parts of the country, and the bird is naked without it.

Lani, a Chicago Patch reader, thinks packaged stuffing mixes are a crime and should be banned, though. Princeton (New Jersey) Patch reader Carol thinks “a good stuffing (but not cornbread stuffing) is the best part of the meal.” She didn’t weigh in on Bradenton (Florida) Patch reader Mello’s idea of a good stuffing, one made with sausage.

New Jersey Patch reader Debbiediamond encountered a true Thanksgiving oddity — turkey stuffing with marshmallows. Trust Debbiediamond that it’s the worst. The stuffing made with rye bread is equally unforgettable in Maple Grove (Minnesota) Patch reader Sandy’s mind, and not in a good way.

Oyster dressing is an abomination, according several Patch readers. Creamed oysters aren’t any better, Hillsborough (New Jersey) Patch reader Nina said. New Hampshire Patch reader Mom offered “apologies to Grandma,” but scalloped oysters are the worst-ever Thanksgiving side dish, she said.

‘1 Bad Sweet Potato Can Ruin Whole Dish’

Yams and sweet potatoes aren’t the same vegetable, but they’re so often used interchangeably that cookbooks and recipe sites may talk about “candied yams” when they really mean sweet potatoes.

Sweet potato toppings were a gooey bone of contention for some readers.

“The marshmallows have got to go,” said Spot, a Rhode Island Patch reader.

That won’t happen in Dearborn (Michigan) Patch reader Deb’s world. The worst Thanksgiving side she ever encountered was a helping of “plain boiled sweet potatoes, with no marshmallows or any extra flavor.”

“Well, at least butter was on the table,” she said.

Jandel, a Nashua (New Hampshire) Patch reader, is a sweet potato minimalist and prefers them baked with butter and no marshmallows or brown sugar.

And take it from Berkeley (New Jersey) Patch reader El: “One bad sweet potato can ruin the whole dish.”

‘Not The Time To Push Your Health Craze’

Several respondents prefer healthier side dishes without all the sauces, gravies and cheeses. Roasted root vegetables, vegan dishes, and cauliflower and other raw vegetables for snacking all got votes of confidence from survey respondents.

Butternut squash is the unsung hero of Thanksgiving side dishes for many r eaders, including, Johnny Stretch, a Malverne-Lynbrook (New York) Patch reader.“It is sweet and delicious and can be prepared like candied yams and so many other ways,” he said.

“Honorable mention goes to mashed sweet potatoes and corn,” said Johnny Stretch, who was equally clear on what doesn’t belong on the Thanksgiving table — “a terrible stuffed shrimp app that was filled with other raw clammy seafood and a cold gummy mac n cheese dish.”

“Although it’s a popular side dish, it’s better left alone on Thanksgiving as it’s not really synonymous with this holiday and for that matter, neither is seafood of any kind. But if either do happen to be served on Thanksgiving, the very least is to be sure they’re cooked right.”

Brussels sprouts, one of the decade’s “it” veggies, was mentioned multiple times as a side dish that deserves more respect. Almost as many said sprouts ruin a Thanksgiving spread.

Wisconsin Patch reader VJ likes Brussels sprouts roasted and served with a fresh green salad. Celery root salad, though? That’s the worst, according to VJ.

Tampa (Florida) Patch reader Laura doesn’t think Thanksgiving is complete without roasted Brussels sprouts, along with cauliflower gratin, apple walnut salad and roasted fennel with Parmesan.

Turnips got several mentions, too, mostly as an underappreciated side dish, but Little Neck (New York) Patch reader Vicki wants to banish them and their close cousins, rutabagas. “Mom always made us ‘try,’” Vicki recalled.

“I grew up with carrots and turnips, cooked, then mashed together with butter. Maybe it’s an Irish tradition?” said Wakefield-Peacedale (Rhode Island) Patch reader Sarah

East Hampton-Portland (Connecticut) Patch reader Lisa likes them mashed with lots of butter and black pepper. She had a long list of side dishes that should get more respect: mashed sweet potatoes, cream cheese-stuffed celery, creamed peas with whole round onions, succotash, corn pudding or corn casserole, carrots sautéed in butter and dill with some salt, ambrosia, and molded Jelll-O salads in a rainbow of colors and flavors.

Burlington (Massachusetts) Patch reader Cat eats her peas, preferably steamed.

“Even if you only eat a small amount or hide them under your mashed potatoes, they can help balance out the heavier dishes and make you feel a little less guilty about overindulging,” Cat said.

Ladidi10, a Laguna Woods (California) Patch reader who knows the difference between yams and sweet potatoes, thinks fresh baked yams, fresh-made cranberry sauce and stuffing from inside the turkey all deserve more respect. But fresh cranberry yam dish with no butter or sweetener, not so much.

“Gag-worthy,” the reader said. “Thanksgiving is not the time to push your new health craze. Please, oh please, give it a rest of feasting and family.”

‘A Jar Of Grape Jelly Would Be Better’

The problem with cranberries at Thanksgiving is that too many people are content with the canned variety, several readers said.

“It is awful,” said Swampscott (Massachusetts) Patch reader Ray. “A jar of grape jelly would be better.”

Queens (New York) Patch reader Florence doesn’t think it gets much better than orange cranberry sauce made with real cranberries. Boston Patch reader RMM likes to “liven up cranberry sauce so it hardly represents traditional cranberry sauce.” RMM didn’t say how to jazz up the staple, but Rhode Island Patch reader Sarah uses her mother-in-law’s recipe for fresh cranberry sauce, which calls for walnuts, pineapple and ginger.

“Our daughter prefers canned, so we have both,” Sarah said.

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